past, future and everything inbetween
by InukiX1
Summary: Now I learned. My life was horrible." Bella grew up in a sick twisted home. When she learned it wasn't at all normal, she just couldn't bare it anymore. How will badboy Emmett change that? AH/OOC, M rated. dark, abuse, drugs, sexual contents
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All characters from the Twilight saga belong to Stephenie Meyer who is definitely not me. I'm just really like them.**

AN: Hey. That's my first fanfic. I came up with it after a so saw some movie. And transformed it into an twilight plot. This is dark. Rape, abuse and beating. M rated for pa reason! It's totally made up by me. If anyone reading this who experienced any kind of abuse, please don't feel degraded by my way of thoughts. I never did and am possibly not able to really get want a victim is feeling or thinking!

To all twilightfans: Don't be mad at me for making some of the characters the evil one. Somebody has to be the bad guy. And by the way I personally love Charlie and Jacob and Paul and Billy, too. Just didn't wanted to make new ones up so they could be the bad.

Last not leased: I'm German! So if my spelling or grammar is wrong, I'm sorry. But even in German I'm a dyslexic and I try!

**Prologue:**

I lived a horrible life. When I was a kid I thought my life was normal. That my mum was supposed to be like the way she was. Either high or not at home at all or mean when she was. And I thought I was so lucky that my daddy loves me as much as he did. That non of the other girls had a daddy who loved them so much, no of their daddies actually showed their love for them the way my daddy did. He showed me HOW much he loved me. HOW proud he was of me. So much he showed me off to his friends. So the would see what a great daughter I was. Or so I thought.

It wasn't until I got older that I learned what was really goin on in my family. And that no of it was anywhere near normal. It wasn't until I learned about sex and what is was suppose to mean that I understood.

I used to love being with my daddy und make everything that I could to make him happy and proud of me. Even though I started to feel awful afterwards. Now that I learned I hated the way he look at me. The way he touched me. The way he "shared" me with his friends.

I used to love when mom was high or "in her own place", like daddy used to say, when she wasn't at home doing "her important things". Now I hated it when she wasn't there in her right state of mind. When she was, mom called me nasty names and yelled at me, punching and kicking me, throwing things at me. It hurt but at least she kept daddy for "showing how much he loved me" and bringing his friends over. Now I hoped for mom being home when I came from junior high. Now I'm only a week away from my 14. birthday. And I hate my life. I'm disgusted by myself, by what daddy and his friends do to me, make me do to them and because I was so stupid believing it was love.

It used to be so easy. So good. My daddy loved me more than anything else. I was special. Only I could make him feel so amazing. So he told me. And I was so damn proud. Daddy told ma that I was the perfect daughter. That all the other girl couldn't possible make their daddies so proud and love them at much as I did he. And that no daddy loved their daughter as much as he loved me. I was the best.

I loved the way his eyes would shine when I showed his friends how much better I was than any other daughter. Back than I didn't understood that this shinning didn't come from pried. But from watching a young girl having sex with some guy. Back than I believed that physical contact was the purest and most important kind of absolute love. And by being with him and his friends that was what I showed him by doing whatever he wanted me to.

Now I know better.

Now I know it could be any girl. It was just easier with me because of my undeniable love for him and my willing to do what ever it took to make him happy.

I was easy to control. Just him telling me it would make him proud and I didn't second-guess.

But hey, would do you expect. I was just a little girl loving her daddy. The only one ever telling her he loved her. Thinking that's the way life's suppose to be. I didn't know any better. What would you have done? You tell your daddy what he's doing to you hurts and he says he loves you and he's so proud of you for doing this for him? And all you want is to show your really love for him? Yeah, you would have done the same damn thing as did. For years as I did. Until you know better as I did. Than I started asking. This wasn't right. Why he's doing it? Why are all his friends doing the same to me? Why? Why? Why?

You know what you get for asking? Punches, kicks and your blood all over the place! Yelling he owns you and he can do with you whatever the hell he wants. And give to his friends to have their way with you. And if he wants you to hurt, he makes sure you do. And damn did he wanted to!

He had a bad day I was the one to let it out on! He was horny I was the one to use! He had debt with some guy I was the one to pay!

My life was horrible!

And now it just got worse.


	2. AN

Hey people,

I know no one really reads this! But for you who do:

First of. Hope you had a merry Christmas!

Second. Thanks to all of you who reviewed/alerted(?) or put my story to your favorite.

I know I keep you guys waiting for more. But I'm having a busy time right now. And I have a sort of a block. I'm stuck at the first chapter! How pathetic is that!

Anyway, I'm trying to get trough that and give you more.

BTW, if anyone has any ideas how to describe any rape scene, please feel free to send me. I'm open for any kind of help.

So please stay with me. And read you soon,

Inuki.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All characters from the Twilight saga belong to Stephenie Meyer who is definitely not me. I'm just really like them.**

A/N: Hey everybody! I've did it! Chapter one people. And first things first! It bad. Not in the bad writing kinda way – though I'm not sure about that either – more in the it's harsh raping way. If your sensitive please stop reading here!

Everything else in the A/N at the end.

Now here you go chapter one:

Chapter 1: Daddy aka The producer/ present and past

It's a week to my 14. birthday. I'm on my way home form the last day of junior high. **(P.S. Sorry if the whole birthday thing doesn't fit. I'm German, so I don't know exactly. Just go with me ok?) **I'm praying to whoever is willing to listing that my mom would be at home. I was still sore from two nights ago when the producer - came to call him that in my mind after I learned what a sick bastard he really is - had his for three best friends over. Billy, Jake and Paul. That was a hell of a night. Literally for me.

_I kneed in the middle of the living room in the disgusting maid dress the producer brought a couple of weeks ago. He just loved it to watch his little girl clean his house in it. It was barely there lace and fabric. No underwear whatsoever. It made contact easier. Fuck my life. The four of them standing around me. Touching, gripping hitting me all over. I was not allowed to make the littlest move and my screams of pain were muffled by a gag. They were drunk no surprise there and laughing evilly every time I shook from a hard blow or a "sensual" touch. "Daddy" removed to gag then and shoved his hard dick down my throat. _

"_Come on, baby girl. Make your daddy feel good, like just my baby girl can." He moaned and grunted as he fuck my mouth hard. It's a long time since I learned how to take a huge dick down without gagging. He held my neck in a strong grip with both hands while humping his hips into my face. Back and forth. In and out. In hard fast strikes._

_Jake and Paul who stood at my sides, each took one of my hands to rub their cocks with them. Cursing and groaning, gripping my hair or shoulder hard with their free hands. _

_Form behind I felt Billy kneeing, pushing three of his fingers in and out my pussy. _

"_Hmm, Isabella! Years and years of fucking you and still you're so tight." Billy breathed in my ear as he pumped his dick into me and moving in and out without giving me time to adjust. They never gave me time. I grunted on the producers cock, making him moan and laugh, telling Billy to keep going._

"_Yeah, Isabella. You like that, don't you little whore. You love being fucked be four men. What a good slut." _

_Pushing, pulling, gripping, hitting, biting, tossing. _

_They all started breaching hard, grunting and groaning loud. I felt all four dicks tightening and while Billy pushed hard into me and came as deep inside of me as he could go, Jake and Paul shot their seed all over my hair and down my chest shouting curses out loud. At last the producer pulled out of my mouth and held it open with his left hand while pumping his cock in front of my face until he came in a loud grunt and his cum hit my face and the back of my throat. I swallowed by instinct not to throw up. Billy pulled out of me shoving me away from him and slummed down and the coach. I fell forward where the producer stepped back sitting down on his armchair. I was on my knees hanging forward on my arm turned back painfully with Jake and Paul still holding onto my hands. They laughed as I cried out as pain shot through my arms. _

"_Well, baby girl. As always you did every good. Having Billy and me spent. But looks like the boys wouldn't mind playing with you a little longer." The producer sighed in content as he smirked evilly at me before turning his attention towards the TV and the game on. Billy doing the same. But first he looked over to me with lust-filled eyes smiling._

"_Thank you, Isabella for being such amazing company as always. Hey boys, why don't you go take our hungry little whore upstairs give her the retreat she deserve?"_

_Paul and Jake yelled an "hell yeah!" and pulled me up by my arms snickering when I yelped. They high fived and Jake threw me over his shoulder and they made the way up the stairs to the "play room". It was a spare room with all kind of toys to fulfill any sort of kinky/sick fantasy someone could have. _

_I was already exhausted form the hours since the three came over and felt disgusted and incredibly dirty and used covered in cum and blood. _

_Jake throw me on the ground and went over to the whip collection while Paul picked me up, crashed me to his naked chest and shoved his tongue in my mouth. Knowing oh too well what would happen if I didn't attend their sick games I kissed him back with fervor. His hands roamed over my body, ripping the dress away from it._

"_OOH, Paul. That little whore got cum all over you. She should be punished for that, don't you think." Jake laughed swinging a whip around. _

_Paul joined his laugh and turned me holding my arms behind my back and walked me towards the chains that hang form the ceiling while licking and biting my neck. He lifted my arms and fastened my wrists to the cuffs. Then both step back watching me hanging on the chains naked dried blood and seed all over my body._

_Jake came up behind me, groping my ass hard biting my earlobe while slurring "So sexy. Bells you look damn hot with cum dripping down your sexy little body. We gone have so much fun with you." He slapped my thigh hard, making me cry out in pain. _

"_Fucking God, your screams make me so hard." Jake pressed his hips into my back so I could feel his erected again cock throbbing against my skin. "I could fuck you right now." To emphasize his words he grind against me. _

"_But first a little foreplay. To your punishment for getting Paul dirty." With those words he hit my ear again then stepped back and swung the whip down on my thighs, my back, shoulders and arms. Pain filled my body and mind. Again and Again. _

_My body jerked forward with every blow. Into Paul who stood in front of me gripping my tits twisting my nipples in time of Jake hits. Crawling my skin with his nails drawing blood. The whole time I screamed till my voice was hoarse the all I could do was whimper while tears run down my face freely. Paul got a sick satisfaction from that. He licked the tears and blood away ever so slowly. _

_When they had enough Jake stepped back and pulled out a hip-high bench and lowered the chains. He gripped me and turned me around by my arms then pushed me on the bench so I was laying on my bleeding and burning back. My head hang off one end. The other end dug into the small of my back when Jake pressed my hips down hard just for fun. Just as Paul did with my shoulders so my sore back was pressed hard against the bench. I screamed loud in pain._

_Jake gripped my ass digging his fingers into my wounded flesh, pulling me towards him and push his dick violent into my asshole. Like every time someone fuck my ass I felt like I was ripped in half, blinding pain shot through my body. A piercing scream fell from my lips. While Jake panted and cursed._

"_Damn Bells. It fells so good filling your cute little ass. So fucking hot and tight. Oh yeah! … ahh! I'll drill you hard all night." He moaned with his head thrown back pumping me hard and fast while I cried and whimpered in pain and humiliation. _

_That is until Paul gripped my hair and pulled my head down, muffling my screams by shoving his cock down my throat. He fucked my mouth while leaned over me and began to suck and bit my nipples. _

_And like Jake promised they drilled me the whole night. Taking turns fucking my every opening. Paul fucked me in the ass on my knees while Jake ate me out until he knelt up and drilled my pussy. They came inside and all over me again and again. They had me suck their dicks, jerk them off. And in between beating me up. _

_When they were finally spend they pulled on their clothes and went downstairs. Leaving me lying naked on the floor hurt and in immense pain, covered in blood and cum. Humiliated and broken once again. I passed out like that and when I woke up early the next morning it took all I had to crawl to the bathroom swallowing down three pain pills while letting the tube fill with hot water. Whimpering with every move I laid down in the tube letting the almost boiling water wash away the dirt it could. I liked the hot water. It numb my hurting body. My hurting soul was long since lost saving. _

_After I heaved myself out of the tube and dried off I expertly applied make up to cover the wounds that wouldn't be hidden by my clothes. I forced myself downstairs to eat some thing. Thanks to whoever for small favors that today was Sunday. No need to be around people until tomorrow, last day of junior high. I despised the summer. No 8 hours of school to hid from him. What hell!_

When I entered the house I felt something was up. I didn't know what it was but something in the atmosphere just didn't seem right. There were strange people standing around in police uniforms. And for a moment I thought I was safe.

But the producer was there. Talking to one of the officers. No handcuffs. No arrest. Just talking. Then he noticed me.

"Bella. Honey. Oh God. Baby, come here." My 'daddy' said in a sickening sweet voice.

I walked next to him as it was expected. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to him. His hands traveled slowly down the small of my back. Carefully hidden from every-bodies view.

"Honey. Your mom was arrested for possessing drugs and for… well, things woman do for drugs. We'll talk about it later." The producer told me and trailed of in a for the police man appreciating manner.

A while later they left. I feared for that moment. He walked towards me with a glint in his eyes I knew all to well.

The glint I loved when I was a little dumb kid. Back then that glint meant he loved me more than an thing else. That he was going to show me.

_I don't know when he started touching me. Or if there ever was a time when he didn't. I remember that he explain what the touching meant and that is was only for him and nobody could knew. He has always caressed my body. _

_The first day he made me touch his dick. The first day he came in front of me I think I was 8. It was around that time when mom stop being home often. Now I know it was then she started having affairs with different guys. And didn't had sex with daddy that often anymore. _

_I was lying ontop of him, me in just a t-shirt and panties and him in only sweat-pants, while his hands slide down my spine over my ass and up my back again to my shoulders and down upfront while he whispered in my ear how much he loved me. It felt so good being caressed by him like that. Sweet and caring. _

"_Bella, my sweet baby girl. I know that women and men are different. Physically, right?" is breach tickled my ear._

"_Yes, daddy. You told me about it!" I answered quietly. _

"_That's right baby girl. I told you but today I'm going to show you. You know I love you. And I want you to understand that when I touch you it's to show you how much I love you." While he said that his left hand caressed my neck and lifted my head to his then he pressed his lips against mine and shorty moved them. His right hand kneaded my ass._

"_Do you love daddy?" instantly I nodded my head yes. "Do you wanna show daddy how much?" again I nodded but was uncertain how to._

_As if he read my thoughts he smiled and whispered. _

"_Take of your clothes baby girl. Daddy will do the same and than I'll teach you how to show me just the right way." Excited I sat up in his lap and removed my t-shirt wiggling around trying to get it over my head faster. He groaned underneath me I stopped looking at him shocked. He had his eyes closed and a small smile on his lips. "such a eager little girl." With one hand on my hip to hold me still he pulled down his sweat-pants and boxers with the other. When his erection was free he pulled down my panties and then placed me on his lap full with my legs next to his hips._

"_Put your hands onto my shoulders baby. Daddy is going to rub his dick against your little pussy. I'm show you how to move your hips to make daddy feel good." With that he started to grind against me from beneath while placing both his hands on my hips, pressing me down onto him and moving my hips back and forth. Like he told me to I placed my hands on his shoulders and followed his lead by pressing into him moving in small circles. _

"_Oh yes, baby girl! Just like that. You make daddy fell sooo good! Keep going, baby! Do you like that?" he moaned deeply. Seeing him in so much pleasure was definably something I liked. Daddy was happy how could I not like it. And the touching was not bad. It felt weird but kinda good. So I signed "Yes daddy!"_

_It didn't take long for him to cum. White sticky fluid came out of his dick coating our stomachs. He grunted and cursed. After he came down he stilled my still moving hips and pulled my head down to kiss me. _

_After a while he looked into my eyes and said:_

"_That was really good, baby! Daddy loves you very much. Do wanna learn another way to show daddy your love?" I nodded and he sat up and lean back against the headboard. He sat me down next to him and took my hand and explained to me what to do while making the move with my hand in his._

"_You take that little hand of yours and fist it around daddy's cock like that. And then you rub up and down. Grip it harder, yes like this and slide your thump over the head. Good, baby so good. Daddy can feel your love. Now go faster. … Ahhh right, just like this." I did how he showed me. Jerked him off for the first time. Loved every second of it. The noises he made sounded so satisfied. Daddy was happy with what I did to him. When he came all over my hand I was so proud of myself that I could make him feel so good. For him I even licked the salty stuff of my hand when he asked me to do it._

_That's how it started. After that day he taught me all kind of ways to make him feel good. From hand jobs over dry pumping to sucking him off. Even fingering myself making me cum while he watched. I was always eager to learn more. For him! And over time when I got bigger he went from finger fucking and tongue fucking me to pushing his big dick into me. _

_At the first time he fucked me I was around ten. He and mom had a huge fight. She told him he disgusted her. And that she didn't want him to touch her ever again. That broke all boundaries in him. If he couldn't fuck her he would just fuck me. Even though I as way to small. _

_It hurt even when he did all he could to prepare me – lucky me - and stretch me. His dick was just to big. And he didn't stop until he came. That was the first time I wondered. But he was my daddy and he was happy. That's all that counted._

Now I knew. I knew what he was going to me was not a love thing. It was pure sexual use. It was pain and shame for me. It was bliss and satisfaction for him. It meant tears for me. It meant release for him.

And now that mom was away for good. There was no stopping him. Ever.

My life just got worse!

The producer was standing in front of me. He reached out for me, his hands started running down my sides, my back and my front. He took a step closer, his face just a inch form mine. He rubbed his hands over my breasts. Hard. Pinching, pressing and pulling. The producer licked his lips. He leaned forward and huskily whispered in my ear.

"Now your all mine. Just how it was always suppose to be." With that he trailed wet open-mouth kisses from my ear to my cheek down my throat where he sucked and bit.

So it started. It's been years since I learned. I knew what would happen. And I knew what would happen if I tried to stop him. So I shut down. Cleaned out my head, didn't think about anything. I became quite good at that. Totally blankness in my head, didn't hear, didn't see, didn't think. But I felt! As hard as I tried, I could never stop feeling. Every little twist of his hands, any kiss. I couldn't black out the smallest touch.

So I felt him pressing me to him, half carrying me to the couch laying down on top of me. Pressing his full weight onto me.

He started sensually. Like always. Slowly trailing his hands down my body. Whispering sweet/sick things in my ear. Tearing my clothes of me. Kissing every part of skin he relieved. "Daddy" rubbed his lower half into mine. He sucked on my earlobe whispering.

"I've waited for this so long. To have you all to myself. Whenever I want you, now I can have not worrying that ugly bitch will be there. Oh sweets. It will be just the two of us. Aren't you excited to be with daddy without anyone between us?" with every word he became more aggressive. The thought of "only us" really turned him on. I felt him twitching and throbbing against my thigh.

"Sweets! Won't you answer me? I asked if you are excited about our new free life? Answer me!" that's the problem with whole no thinking thing. It took me too long to register he even asked something and even longer to find it in me to answer in a sweet "daddy's little girl" voice. He became impassioned. With all strength I could muster I answered the only way possible. The way he wanted.

"I'm sorry daddy. I was distracted by your love. Yes, I'm very happy I don't have to share your love anymore." An innocent small smile to get back at his good grates. Pushing myself up to him, rubbing against him to bring him back to his goal. Two little movements that made me wanted to puke. That made me hate myself for being so weak and scarred of him. But they never failed their purpose. First he smiled back then he closed his eyes and pushed himself hard down on me. I felt his hard dick against my lower half. I hated that feeling. It was hard, long and pulsing. And I hated what I know as about to come.

After tearing all my clothes of me he began his usual way. First he kissed every bruise he could find. As always telling me how much he loved seeing me in dark blue, violet and fade green. And the red. The red of open wounds. Dried blood his favorite. Especial from his bid wounds. He even admired the long scratches Jake left the other night. "Talented boy." As the producer said. He tiered of his clothes rubbing his dick against my pussy. Then he slide one hand down my body pushing two fingers into me. I dug my fingers into his shoulders to keep myself from crying out. The producer took this like he wanted. I didn't get wet while he slide his fingers in and out.

"Hmm. Some many things I wanna do to you. Where to start? Fuck you right now, hard and dry. Sounds amazing to me. Or I could go slow and first eat your delicious pussy out. You know how I love when you get all wet and slick. Your cries of pleasure are just as hot as those of pain. What to do?" all the while he talked in that lust-filled voice I hated as much as I feared it, he groped my body. Then he kissed me hard biting down on my lip.

"Why decide when you can have both." With that he pushed his entire length into my dry core in one violent strike. This time I could held down the screams. Pumping me fast he groaned into my ear.

"That's it baby girl. Scream for daddy!" when he bit hard down on my shoulder I did just that. I screamed bloody murder. Not just for this moment but for the horror I knew would come.

After he came for the first time that night the producer continued to do all the things he wanted until he passed out from the pleasure and amount of whiskey he consumed. I fled to my room after cleaning myself up.

When I sat on my windowsill smoking I couldn't even cry. No tears would leave my eyes. My life just became pure horror! What would crying change. With mom gone so was any hope to get away from him. I lived in hell from now on. I went to bed after throwing my stump out and fell into darkness.

It has been a week since mom's arresting and thinks turned out just like I thought. Life was hell! And with now being summer it was a 24/7 hell. I was beaten and rape almost every hour of each day. I didn't even feel pain any more. I was numb all over.

Today was my birthday. I was now 14. I hated my birthday. Celebration was never a good thing in this house. You wanna know what turning 14 meant for me? I tell you. Being punched 14 times on 14 different places on my body. Being kicked 14 times. Being fucked 14 times in all holes. Having a 14 being sliced into the skin of my back. 14 cuts on both tights. Wanna hear more? I could go on! The producer get more creative with every birthday. I hate birthdays.

The last of the producers friends just left. Another 14. Being fucked by 14 men in one day for as long as they wanted, how much as they could and whatever way they liked. It's after 7 p.m. and he's just giving me the 14. beating. I'm lying next to the table full of bottles in various states of fullness. He is far gone from senses.

'I can't take it anymore. I wish he would just end this misery forever!'

What the hell! No he wouldn't get to be the one who ended my life. If anything that is mine!

With that thought I pushed him away. He swayed dangerously on his drunken legs. I grabbed one of the full bottles from the table. And with strength I didn't know I still had in me I crashed it over his head. He felt to the floor. And stayed there.

I finally understood. It had been there all the time. My way out.

I would end my terrible life. Tonight! The night I've been born into this hell of existence 14 years ago I would finally be leaving it…

* * *

**A/N: **

Sooo?? What'cha thinking?? Hope you guys liked it. Well, not like that… you know what I mean!

As I said before, I've no idea how it is to be abused. I do not mean to offend anybody!!!!

If spelling and grammar are horrible I'm really sorry. Keep in mind that I'm German. Though I'm open for advices concerning that.

Last not least I'd love to read what your thinking! Any opinions, wishes, advices or anything??

Cya later, Inuki!


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: All characters from the Twilight saga belong to Stephenie Meyer who is definitely not me. I'm just really like them.**

**A/N**: hey, people! here you go chapter 2. Hope you like it!

**Emmett: present and past**

The producer was passed out on the floor. He had a small cut on his forehead where I hit him with the bottle. My whole body ached from the beating and I just wanted, no needed to get out. Not just of the house but everything. This sick excuse for a life I had to suffer through. The living nightmare that was being in his presence. I had to get out. Once and for all!

While lying underneath him beating me to death, there was a moment when I wished for him to finally end it. That thought upset me to no end. It wasn't his decision when and how my life would end. At least that should be all mine. And there was always the chance that he would stop himself. He would after all loose his slave/rag doll/ sex toy. He wouldn't do it. But I could. And I will!

That decision was the reason for the first time in a long time I fought back. He was too far gone to even realize what made it easy. So now here I was and for the first time since I learned I felt free! I had my way out. I would walk out of the house and never had to go back to this hell.

I searched around for awhile until I found what I needed. Two bottles of Vodka and my mothers last pills whatever they were, they were enough. I crabbed the old worn-out ladder jacket I once found at a yard sale, took my choice of death and went through the front door closing it behind me. I smiled as I made my way towards the pier.

For some reason I always liked the pier. Especial at night. It was quiet and on the right part all dessert. I sat down my feet tangling above the water and started drinking. The burn in my throat was welcomed as it was part of my self chosen end. I don't know how long I set there watching the far away city lights and drank. And that it was almost over I wasn't in a rush. I drank slowly and watched and that was it. I didn't think. No reflecting of my life – I know it was hell – no heavy last thoughts. Just being!

I guess that's the reason I didn't here him coming sooner. Just as he was right behind me and stilled shortly. You would think I panicked and through myself around to see who he was. But I didn't care. Nor did I need to. I'm not sure how I knew but I did. Maybe it was the way he walk – but knowing the sound of his steps would be creepy – or it was the wind that carried his significant smell towards me – dry wood, smoke and mint. Whatever, I knew. As he sat down next to me almost close enough to touch I didn't look at him or paid any attention to him. He didn't either. He just set there smoking his cigarette and looked the same way I did.

It didn't really bother me that he was there. He wouldn't stop me even if he knew what I planned. He had no reason to. And if he did I would just leave. But it made me a little curious why he was here. He wasn't the guy to just sit next to someone he didn't know. If he wasn't with his crew, he kept to himself. I wondered why he changed that tonight and why of all people with me. While I thought about that, still drinking BTW, he finished his cigarette threw it away and leaned back on his hands. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw him looking at me. Nothing really in his gaze. Just looking. That bothered me. I couldn't read him, didn't know what he wanted.

"Are you going to share your booze, or what?" his voice rang velvet into the night air. Like his eyes without any emotions. No demand, no warning, no expectation. I turned my head to really look at him. His pose seemed relaxed, his handsome face straight but not guarded. I just couldn't figure him out.

I saw him around town. I knew who he was. Everybody did. Emmett McCarthy. He was just three maybe four years older than me but already leader of the wolf pack **(couldn't think of a better name ****)** Seattle's main gang. From what I heard he came from a bad home. Had to learn to survive on his own early. And he's doing very well. Selling drugs and others, fighting with other gangs keeping them in check, and what else gangs do these days. He fiercely loyal. Who belongs to him those he protected fully. There was I time I dreamed being one of his girls – not what you think, just belonging to his gang – he'd kept me safe. But I wasn't quite gang material. With every thing in my life I wasn't social at all. Afraid to talk to strangers. Who knew what they could do to you when your own family tortured you. But a girl can dream right.

Emmett was about 6'3'' with broad shoulders and big arms. He had short dark hair almost shaved, a straight nose and a strong jaw. And the deepest, most intense dark blue eyes you'd every seen. He was a bear of a man and a beautiful one that is. I know men aren't describe as beautiful but handsome just wasn't enough of a word for him. I admit I had a little crush on him. As far as I allowed myself that kind of feelings.

_I remember the first time I saw him. _

_It's was about three years ago. Back then I started wondering about me life. While walking around the town, still trying to excuse the pain my "daddy" put me through. I sat down on a park bench wincing while doing so. Across from me stood a group of teens. And Emmett was in the middle of it. Even than taller than anybody and just handsome with his dimpled smile, he caught my eye. And as if he felt my gaze he looked over to me. As I said I'm not really social, as in I don't know the right social way around. _

_So for no really reason I held his gaze. There was curiosity in his eyes and other emotions that I couldn't quite place. They were clear and open. And just beautiful. If I could just read the thoughts behind such intensive eyes. Never has any men looked at me like that guy over there. _

_Then something in his stand changed and it seemed like he was about to make his way over. Never breaking eye contact. Just than my phone went off. Signal a new text. Looking away from the handsome boy I took out my cell and read that my "daddy" wanted me home. _

_Signing I stood up, again wincing, and turn to leave. Looking over my shoulder for a last glance at him, I was taken back by his eyes. They were piercing into mine with what almost seemed like anger. Shocked and a little scared I looked away and left._

_Over the next weeks a learned more about the guy that wasn't leaving my mind. I listened secretly to everyone that talked about him._

_His name was Emmett McCarthy. He was a couple years older than me. And part of the biggest gang in Seattle. He was big, obviously, and strong, fighting when he had to, but most of the time a joking sweetheart, liked by all who knew him. _

_In the three years since I first saw him, I've seen him from the distance in different situations every couple of days. And more often than not our eyes met. Those intense blue eyes would fix onto mine for a few moments. Like he tried to read me, to figure me out. And apparently he never could. Because he would huff frustrated and shake his head before looking back at me with almost pleading eyes. As if he asked me to answer his silent questions. Questions that I didn't know. The more time went by the more got my strange urgent to give Emmett everything he would ask for. Those foreign feelings I developed for him frightened me the longer I felt them and the stronger they got. I couldn't explain to myself how a pair of dark blue eyes that belong to a guy I didn't even know could make me feel such intense unknown feelings. Not that they were bad, per se. Just foreign and that scared me. Especially after I learned._

_I always thought I would love the producer. Look how well that turned out. And Emmett was bigger and stronger than him. I've seen what Emmett was capable of when he got angry. The pain he could cuss me! And with me emotional attached to him it was just the physical one I was scared of. So I made sure I would keep my distance to him. _

_I realized after I learned that emotions made the pain worse. Being hurt by somebody you love is always more painful than just physical injuries. My feelings for Emmett made me weak. Wanting to be near him put me in danger. Longing and fear battled inside me when Emmett was concerned. Fear always won. So I stayed away. But…_

_Once I came face to face with him. It was four month ago. I was just leaving school. Carefully taking every step while pain crashed through me with each move. I angered the producer two days ago with what exactly I wasn't sure. But what I knew was that he beat me bloody that night and wouldn't allow me any food. I was hungry and in so much pain that I started feeling dizzy this morning. Barely managed to get through the day. I stepped down the stairs from the school when my vision began to blur and the world started spinning. My body gave away and I fell forward down. _

_I expected the crash, to weak to even lift my arms to try and catch myself. But it never came. Instead two strong arm slang around my waist and pulled me back against a muscled chest. Holding me tight with one arm the other hand slid beneath my knees and picked me up bridal style. To fight the dizziness I took a couple deep breaths and when I felt strong enough I turned my head to see who caught me. For the first time the intense blue eyes I dreamed about often starred into mine so close up. It was overwhelming and my breath caught in my throat. All I could do was get lost in Emmett's eyes. His face was a unreadable mask. There was concern in his eyes but he tried to hid it with amusement. Emmett winked at me and then looked forward where he was going. _

_I had to duck my head to hid my blush. I never blushed being through what I been through, there wasn't anything to make me blush anymore. But a little wink form Emmett and being in his arms let my face flame up. _

_When he reached a bench, he shifted me in his arms hitting some bruises on my hip, making squirm. His eyes snapped back to mine the concerns clear in them now. He tried to sit down with me in his lap but his closeness and my reaction to it got me scared again. I wiggled out of his grip and turned away from him. I felt him reach for my hand brushing against it. I stiffed let my hand linger by his for a second then pulled it away. _

_In a small voice I mumbled "thank you for catching me. I'm such a klutz!" I shifted my gaze towards him, not really looking at him. I was sure he could have seen right through my lie. With that I stared walking away. _

_But stopped when I felt his big, warm hand circling around my small one. With his free hand Emmett turned and lifted my head so I would look at him. And again I was about to get lost in his eyes. They held so much emotions, I couldn't define them all. It felt as if he silently asked me if I was ok. And I knew he could read in mine that I wasn't. His gaze changed - more sure and angry - and the grip on my hand got stronger. I shot Emmett a pleading look to let it be and let me go. Now what seemed like pain slowly filled his eyes and there was this sudden urgent in me to take him in my arms and all his pain away. But I couldn't. _

_So I took a deep breath and starred into that dark blue and smiled trying to convince him I was fine. I turned and let my hand glide out of his. And as if his touch had healed me before. The moment I lost skin contact with Emmett the pain returned full force. Even worse than before cause now my heart ached to. _

_Since that day I didn't let myself get anywhere near Emmett McCarthy. I chanced my direction whenever I was him standing ahead. And I didn't look at him anymore. No eye contact whatsoever. It hurt to much._

So now there I set. On my way to end my miserable life with Emmett McCarthy sitting next to me wanting my booze. Can you say 'what the fuck'. He was still watching me waiting for a reply. I looked down to the bottle in my hand. Still over half full. And the one next to me. I could give him the closed one and would have enough to swallow my pills. He would leave and would have a good moment to think of when the pills started to do their work. Him sitting next to me! I reached over and handed him the bottle. He grinned that cute little grin at me I had seen him give to his pack members.

But despite my expectations Emmett didn't get up and left. Oh no he opened the bottle and took a good swing. He signed in contend and took out his cigarette pack. Holding it up to me as invention I took one as did he before he lit my and his up grinning at me again. For second to second it became stranger and I got more confused. He just stayed with me drinking and smoking. I got irritated and threw him a look as to say 'You're leaving, or what?' He seemed to understand cause he started starring at me thoughtful. I guess nobody who had the pleasure of his company ever tried to send him away. I didn't know what he was searching for in my eyes but I held his gaze. As much as I liked his sudden attention even though it confused me, I could risk him holding me back from my plans and the producer finding me. Though I didn't think 'daddy' would be looking for me as soon as he woke up, and that could take a while, I didn't wanted to loose time.

Emmett's intense gaze started to burn and I felt myself getting once again lost in dark blue. When he finally blinked and broke eye contact I felt a little dizzy and not from the Vodka. Emmett's eyes wondered over my body but not in the way I was used to by men. There was no lust in them. Just what seem like concern. They halted on certain parts like my neck or my forearms. To late I realized that I wasn't wearing my jacket and that he had a clear view of my bruises. His eyes clouded with anger taking them in and than a look of determination filled his face.

He jumped to his feet and started pacing behind me. Mattering things like 'I should have known, seen it.', 'that worthless son of a bitch', 'going to kill him nice and slow' and more. I got freaked out, stood up as well and ready to make a run for it when Emmett grab my hand still mattering and drag me away with him.

For a moment I was too shocked about the fact that Emmett McCarthy touched me to think of any thing else. But then it dawned to me. He had seen the bruises apparently knowing who did it. Now he dragging me who-knows-where going to do hell-if-I-know. Panic came over me and I tried to get out of his grip.

"Hell, what do think you're doing. Let go of me." I cursed and struggled but he didn't noticed or cared. If any thing his grip got tighter hitting my bruise and really started to hurt.

"Dammit! You're hurting me. Emmett let go!" I begged, realizing I said his name out loud for the first time ever. The crazy side in me enjoyed the way it sounded. He stopped instantly what made crash into his back from the fast pace he dragged me. He spun around to face me a look on his face I couldn't name. Than a small almost shy smile appeared on his lips before his eyes fell onto his hand still gripping my hand hard. He loosened it immediately but didn't let go. Looking back into my eyes he smile apologizing. But I was still worried what he was up to and knew I had to get away. Finally.

"Fuck Emmett. What do you want. Why are you dragging me away like a rack doll. Let me go!" I tugged my hand trying to get it out of his. But didn't do anything. He just got that little smile on his face again brighter this time. He gazed into my eyes intensely with a shine in his I'd never seen before and didn't say a word nor moved. I swayed on the inside with the force of his eyes.

"Emmett?" was he frozen? Maybe mentally retarded? That would be a shame. As I called out to him his smile only got bigger, his eyes brighter. Everything just got too bizarre and I still had to free myself from my existence. I was about to wave my free hand in front of his face when he cleared his throat and shook his head a little.

"I'm sorry, Bella." His lips twitched as if to smile again when he said my name. "I didn't meant to scare you. It's just that when I saw your bruises I got real angry and lost it for a moment." Then Emmett looked around thoughtful and tugged on my hand he was still holding and started walking. I'm not sure why but I went with him without a fight.

The felling of his hand around mine, warm and secure. The way my name fell from his oh-so soft looking lips. And just his present had that urgent back that I tried to squeeze away inside of me. To be near him, give him whatever he asks for. The alcohol within me made me weak. I will end my life tonight any way. Why still fighting. So I walked next to him, cherishing to moments with Emmett.

"Bella, the one who caused those, that was your father right?" he looked at me sideways. I didn't see a point in lying so I just shook my head yes. "Does that happen often?" he asked gently. Again yes. His face got hard in hatred and his hand tightened around mine making me wince lightly in pain. Emmett loosened it quickly.

"You don't have to fear anymore. He will never touch you again. I'll make sure of it." He said with such determination that my heart ached with hope I couldn't allow myself. Hearing Emmett off all people say the words I've been waiting to hear so long hurt badly. It felt unreal like a cruel dream that mocks you because when you wake up nothing has changed. Tears started running down my face and I ripped my hand from his.

"Why the hell are you saying something like that, you asshole. You think it fun to hurt my like that?" I yelled at him. Hope that I just knew, would never came true tried to brake into my heart. Burned the little life that was left inside of me. It wouldn't came true. It couldn't. Not in my world.

Emmett's face was full of shock and even a little hurt.

"I say this because I mean it, Bella. I would never play with you or hurt you, I swear. I'll keep you safe. No one is ever going to hurt you again." He said fiercely taking my tear streamed face in his big hand, starring deeply into my eyes, willing my to understand, to believe him. But how could I. He didn't even know me.

I shook my head, that little his grip on my face would allow. "No! You won't. You can't. There's only one way for me to became safe, free of him and its in my pocket." In my mix of so strong emotion I hadn't felt in a long time, hurt, fear, hope, confusion, longing and Vodka, I didn't realize my slip. Emmett's eyes narrowed on mine as he put the things together. Me sitting alone on the pier with to bottles of Vodka and a way out in my pocket. Isn't that hard to get.

"NO! You will NOT do such thing. Don't you dare trying to hurt yourself. You hear me. YOU will not leave ME like this!" with those words Emmett leaned down and pressed his soft lips hard against mine. He put his strong arms around my waist, held me tight to him and kissed me forcefully.

It should have scared me. Disgusted me like it would have been with the producer or any other guy that is. But right here, right now the producer was the fares thing in my mind. Emmett was nothing like him. Emmett's strong hold held nothing but safety and protect. His lips were soft and warm, his kiss was sweet, caring and begging. To believe and to stay. But there was a hint of desperation. As if just the thought of loosing me made him crazy. I melded into him, hold onto his jacket for dear life. Even if this was just a cruel dream. I wanted to stay in Emmett's embrace for as long as I could.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey people, it's Inuki. This is for everybody who's reading my story or has it an alert. I am really really sorry for this not being a new chapter. But I've no idea how continue. I have next chapters written, well at least in my head, but I don't know how to get to the point I know how to go on.

So if any off you has a suggestion how to go on from the point I'm at now I would be more than pleased and appreciate it.

Thanks for reading and for being interested.

I hope to hear from one of you, or more?

Cya Ini


	6. Chapter 6

**I know! I know! I'm bad. Bad, bad Ini!**

**Haven't updated a new chapter in some time and this isn't it either.**

**Really really sorry for all who wait on it and those who have me on alert.**

**But there is a lot going on at work and in my private life. And in general. Yadda yadda!**

**You all don't wanna here about that!**

**Working on the story! Promise, just taking more time than I thought! **

**Sorry again!**

**Please don't give up on me! Pretty please, with Emmett on top **

**Later Ini!**


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